The art of Self sabotage

Who do I fool? If I can't be honest with myself, what hope is there?! People have commented to me that they are surprised at my honesty in these blogs. Well I started to blog because I had lost some control and wanted to grab it back. The only way to do that is to be honest about what I am eating. There is no point otherwise. For a couple of weeks it was working superbly but yet again I have hit a few blips! No excuses now. So what has happened?

Yesterday was not all bad. I started well with a change of breakfast! Plenty of mushrooms and tomatoes with an egg and a piece of very crispy bacon.

That set me up for a long day of visiting work, a meeting and then shopping. Lunch was quite late but again healthy. I made a Laughing Cow and salad sandwich (half HEa and my HEb). I followed that with a yoghurt and some fruit.

I bought some Irish Cream coffee on Natasha's recommendation so had a cup of that too. It was not at all bad! Then. Had a Curly Wurly (6 syns)

Keen to get it right, I looked up chicken dopiazza online. I did tweak the recipe a little but it was still 'free' and very tasty. I added some rice and tomato and onion salad.

So where is the sabotage you ask? Well, I was relegated to the other room as rugby was on. I went off fairly happily with fresh berries and yoghurt. That finished the 'voices' were suddenly back, and fairly easily I gave in. I sat and ate a handful of huge white chocolate and strawberry buttons that I had at Christmas. They were so delicious but I knew I should not eat them. To make matters worse I then felt very sick!

So today I started again with great resolve to stick to plan. I had my usual boiled egg and crispbreads (HEb) followed by fruit. I then set off for my eye test. Of course I needed new glasses and I left there having coughed up £358 for the  pleasure! I was sorely tempted to revive myself with lunch or at least a high syns coffee but I resisted and waited until I got home for this:

I retired to the other room again as rugby was on, taking an amaretto coffee and a HiFi with me (6 syns). So again where is the sabotage? Wait for it....... 

I knew we were going to a barn dance for a friend's birthday.  I had planned not to eat anything but In the interval a huge sausage in a roll appeared for me. I resisted for all of five minutes then ate it! I wish I could say I stopped there but I didn't. I followed that with a veggie burger. I did dance a bit so may have worked some of it off. Did I stop there? NO I DID NOT. Once home I wrestled with the voices again and have just given in and eaten a small piece of birthday cake. It was yummy! I think I had better go to bed before the voices talk me into anything else. I blame the voices but who is the saboteur? I AM!